In review: victim of discrimination?

After taking some time from my altercation with the librarian, I feel like I should reflect on the experience.

I did make mistakes. I shouldn't have waited until the last minute to look into getting a camera. I shouldn't have assumed, based on Marna's info, that the librarian was ok with lending me a camera. I should have accepted the changes to the expectations for me without questioning them and/or reminding her of her previous agreements.

However, in the long run, I wasn't in the wrong. I think that this person was projecting their personal concerns or difficulties with getting things done on time, or keeping commitments onto me without cause. I can't put a finger on it, but the experiences that I have indicate to me that perhaps the librarian has trouble with time management and being organized. Her behavior towards me indicates that she expected me to have the same problems, to the point where she felt it necessary to have two entire class periods of cushion time from when I returned the camera, until it was needed, in order to maker herself feel comfortable that it would be back in time. She seemed like she so overwhelmed and absorbed by her other duties, that it was more then she could handle to offer verbal advice or directions to me. It also showed arrogance that her needs were more important then treating me respectfully. There was clear bias towards me because I am a student teacher, rather then a certified teacher. I don't know if this librarian is a classified or certified employee, although the fact that she teaches a class indicates to me that she is probably certified, but I doubt that she would have given me so much trouble if I had been a first year teacher who needed to video tape her lesson, or if, like Marna, I was a veteran expert teacher who needed to tape themselves for an award they were receiving. It's possible that age played into it as well. I felt ridiculed for my youth, as if she was equating me with some stereotypical co-ed, partying it up every night and barely passing my classes.

It was an unfortunate experience, but one that I am glad to have. I will probably continue to run into people who will judge me or treat me differently based on my age, experience and gender. People will be rude, cruel, unfair and I will have to deal with it with professionalism and grace. I think that I did that fairly well this time, all things considered, and was still able to solve my problem by calling on other resources.

Figting vainly the old ennui...

The end of the year is rough. I feel like I've reached a point with my students, especially in math, where they don't care about anything. Unlike a month or two ago, I can't draw them into a lesson by making it about something relevant, telling a clever story, or including a fun activity. They don't care about those things either. Especially not with this lat ditch effort to cover percents. There are a few kids, who if you challenge them, will get into something. I had three students working at the front of the board on solving problems involving percents that they actually had to reason to solve, not just plug things in, and they were into it, and they were working together. The rest of the class was really chaotic. I had to ask one student to sit back down in her seat three or four times. Part of the difficulty was that all of the students were in different places in their work. We were working through a packet on percents, and some students were done the first day, while others were struggling. So those that finished, I had to find more things for them to do. But those who were working, and did have things to focus on weren't. They were confused, and not necessarily paying attention, I was repeating myself over and over again.

This sort of end of the year ennui seems unavoidable. Unless you have something that students are intrinsically motivated in, which some classes, by their nature more frequently have those types of subjects (such as the Musical, which performs in two weeks). So what's a teacher to do. My cooperating teacher recommends sticking to work sheets. Keep them busy, with things that engaged the lower learning levels. Higher order thinking isn't accessible for them at this point.

Obviously it depends on the class. My 8th period didn't have nearly so much trouble focusing as my 4th period, but they are learning to add and subtract negative numbers, not exactly a task requiring analytical thinking.

So the question is, are students at a total loss for deep thought and analytical thinking this near the end of the school year?